Headline: WHY
SOME WHITE AMERICANS ARE AFRAID TO TALK ABOUT RACE
Reporter: By Gregory Freeman
Publication: ST.
LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
Last Printed: Sun., Jun. 22, 1997
Section: NEWS ANALYSIS, Page: 1B, Edition: FIVE STAR LIFT
A COLLEAGUE came
to me the other day and told me he'd decided to be quiet.
"I ain't saying anything, " he told me. His comments
came on the heels of President Bill Clinton's announcement that he wants to
establish a national dialogue on race.
My colleague, who is white, said he's decided to keep his thoughts
on race to himself. He thinks many whites are doing the same.
Why?
He doesn't want
to be branded a racist, he told me.
I
don't think my colleague is a racist. He and I occasionally differ on issues,
but I don't think it's because of racism. It's that he and I sometimes view
things out of different lenses. The good part about it, though, is that we can
talk about them.
But
he says he doesn't envision expressing his thoughts on a wide-scale basis. "The
minute I say something that someone thinks I shouldn't, I'll be called a racist,
" he said. "And that's a hurtful word."
It
is a hurtful word. It should be a hurtful word. But I view it as a weapon, one
that you use sparingly because you want it to have maximum impact. If a person
cries racism every time he feels any slight, he's unlikely to win over many
believers when there's a clear and obvious case of real racism.
What's unfortunate
about what my colleague had to say is that I'm sure he's not alone. I'd guess
that many whites will have nothing to do with the president's efforts to get
conversations going on race because they fear that they will turn into monologues,
not dialogues. They fear that blacks will freely express their opinions and
criticize whites, and that the minute whites express their opinions or criticisms
of blacks, they'll be called racists.
That's
not a dialogue. It's a breakdown in communication.
There's something
to be said for listening. Much learning takes place when you listen to what
others have to say. I've found that sometimes I learn a great deal by keeping
my ears open and my mouth shut.
Am
I saying that blacks should just listen to criticism and say nothing about it?
Not at all. But I do suggest that all of us can learn when we listen to one
another. When my colleague and I disagree, for instance, we don't resort to
calling each other names. He listens to my point of view, and I listen to his.
I think we've both learned about each other from the process.
Tolerance is a
learned skill. We aren't born tolerating things we don't like. Babies cry and
scream when things don't go their way.
But
we're not babies. We're older and, I hope, wiser. We know how to listen, how
to think, how to reason. And there's much to be learned by listening to other
points of view. Whites can learn a great deal by listening to the cries of hurt
and pain that some African-Americans feel. Blacks can learn a great deal by
listening to the beliefs on race that some whites harbor.
A
little tolerance and civility can go a long way.
Clinton has pointed
to the ever-changing makeup of this country. He has noted that we are becoming
more multiracial and multiethnic than ever before. We're no longer dealing with
blacks and whites alone. Other groups - Hispanics and Asians, for instance -
are growing rapidly.
Along
with these changes come other questions:
All of these are valid questions that need discussion.
Most important, we need to talk. We're never going to resolve any of the simmering tensions that exist if we refuse to take the lid off the pot. Our thoughts shouldn't be kept inside. They should be expressed, in healthy, positive ways in which we can hear one another and listen to one another's views without taking those views personally. Once we get all the points on the table, we can begin to solve our problems. We can begin to grow.
We need to talk. But just as important, we need to listen.
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