Headline: WHEN THE KID HEADS OFF TO COLLEGE, DAD'S HIPNESS QUOTIENT TAKES A DIP
Reporter: By Gregory Freeman

Publication: ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
Last Printed:  Sun., Dec. 17, 2000
Section: METRO, Page: D3, Edition: FIVE STAR LIFT

Since our son has gone away to college, I've slowly and sadly come to the realization that there are some things that I no longer know.
   The most recent discovery came last week when a guest on my radio program on KWMU mentioned some of the popular toys these days. I'd never heard of them.
  
When Will was younger, I knew all the popular toys: Nintendo, Hot Stix (drumsticks that made noise without the drums), Cabbage Patch kids, you name it. I knew what they were and, in many cases, even knew what they cost.

To see if my knowledge still held, I decided to check around to see what some of the popular toys are for kids today. I may as well have stepped out of the 19th century.
  
To be truthful, I recognized a few toys. Lincoln Logs are still popular - I even had some when I was a kid - and Barbie's still alive and kicking. (Whole generations of girls have joined the AARP since Barbie was first introduced, and she's still attending school and dating Ken).
  
But most of the toys I saw left me scratching my head. For example, there's the Harry Potter game. I've heard of Harry Potter, although I haven't read any of the books - my son was a senior in high school when those books became popular. I have no idea what the game is about (or the books, for that matter).
  
I puzzled over Kool Toyz, apparently a name brand for all sorts of items, from motorized train sets to toy shopping carts.
  
And motorized scooters with titanium wheels seem to be a hot seller this year. When I was a kid, we'd make scooters out of old roller skates and pieces of wood, but today's kids would probably laugh at ours.
  
Anyway, I had no idea that any of this stuff was popular.
   Will's 19 now. When he left for school, I lost some of my HQ - hipness quotient.

When it comes to favorite music, I tend to be stuck in the '60s and '70s. For me, there's nothing better than a tune by the Temptations, an old Beatles song, even an occasional rendering of "YMCA, " or Ike and Tina Turner's version of "Proud Mary, " to get the blood moving.
  
But when it comes to the latest groups, I have serious trouble with them. Will used to keep me up to speed. He knew all the latest groups and could name the top 10 songs of the week without even thinking hard.
  
I, on the other hand, only discovered Nelly - a St. Louis rapper - by flipping channels one day and seeing the Arch in a music video. I don't know the difference between 'N Sync, 98 Degrees and the Backstreet Boys. I don't know Jewel from Pink from Aaliyah.

Will not only served as my hipness detector, he also served as my technological director.
  
Right now I have a CD player that will hold 25 CDs. Only one problem: I can't figure out how to turn it on. I usually end up pushing lots of buttons until I finally hear music, but without Will the CD player is a "newfangled contraption." I find myself longing for the hi-fi my parents had when I was a kid.
  
And we won't even get into programming the VCR. If a show's not airing right now, it's not going to be taped. Besides, there's nothing wrong with the VCR blinking 12:00 all the time, is there?

Today's youngsters have no idea who Popeye is, who the Smurfs are or what Transformers do.
   And while I can tell you everything about the Smurf family from watching them with Will when he was small (I always wondered why there were all those guy Smurfs and only one Smurfette), I know nothing about Pokemon or that cute little yellow fellow who says "Pikachu" all the time. What is that all about?

I've learned that my knowledge about all things hip and up-to-date is sorely lacking - but I'm not worried.
Will will be home soon. I'm ready for my crash course in hipness.


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