Gregory Freeman: We Can All Play A Role In Getting To Know Each Other. P-D 12/7/1999

Headline: WE CAN ALL PLAY A ROLE IN GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER
Reporter: By Gregory Freeman

Publication: ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
Last Printed: Tues., Dec. 7, 1999
Section: METRO, Page: B1, Edition: FIVE STAR LIFT

Racial polarization

During his days as a member of the "Saturday Night Live" cast, comedian Jon Lovitz played a TV pitchman whose key phrase was "Get to know me!"
Lovitz's character would often start off talking about how before meeting him someone had been "a down-and-out country bumpkin who never had a real job or even a home of his own" ... "And now that man is president of the United States. Get to know me!" Lovitz's key phrase could be used by lots of other people, albeit without the alleged phenomenal success of his character.

Many of us could enhance our own knowledge by getting to know someone or something else. But those in dominant cultures tend not to do that. We generally want people to know about us but we're often ignorant of them.

In her book, "Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria, " psychologist Beverly Daniel Tatum writes about dominant cultures. "Dominant groups, by definition, set the parameters within which the subordinates operate, " Tatum writes. "The dominant group holds the power and authority in society relative to the subordinates and determines how that power and authority may be acceptably used. Whether it is reflected in determining who gets the best jobs, whose history will be taught in school, or whose relationships will be validated by society, the dominant group has the greatest influence in determining the structure of the society."
On the world stage, where American culture dominates, Tatum's theory can be easily seen. The average Mexican, for instance, knows that Bill Clinton is president of the United States. But how many Americans know that Ernesto Zedillo is president of Mexico? How many know that Zedillo studied at Yale? Probably not many, although you can be sure that had Clinton studied at the Instituto Politecnico Nacional, in Mexico City, most Mexicans would be aware of that.
Similarly, the fact that many whites here often know very little about nonwhites is frequently the source of frustration among the latter group. While nonwhites must know about whites to operate in American society, many whites go through life knowing relatively little about nonwhites.

Nearly seven years ago, a friend and I formed a group called Bridges, set up to try to reduce racial polarization in St. Louis, at least on a small level. It was designed to bring people of different races together and help them develop friendships across racial lines. We thought that if we could get people to know one another in relaxed settings, like each other's homes, they would eventually begin to let their hair down and say what they really felt, all while developing trust in one another.
     Over the years, the program has worked. It's operated by FOCUS St. Louis, and several hundred people have participated.
     But when talking to African-Americans about the program, I've sometimes been greeted with, "What do I get out of learning more about white people? I've had to know about them all my life. They haven't had to know anything about me."
     Of course, Bridges is about more than simply getting to know about whites or blacks. It's about developing friendships and recognizing that race shouldn't be a barrier to that.

Still, it all gets back to Jon Lovitz's character. Why get to know me? Or you? Or anyone else?
Because none of us has a monopoly on knowledge. And the nation as we know it today will look different just 15 years from now, as the numbers of those from racial minorities steadily rise.
If for no other reason than changing demographics, we would all be better off if we understood one another better. And while technology is bringing our world closer together every day, perhaps nothing could bring us closer together than really knowing -- and appreciating -- one another.

Daniel Schesch - Webweaver

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