Headline: OUR HOLIDAY FOOD FIGHT ALWAYS ENDS SWEETLY, WITH SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE
Reporter: By Greg Freeman

Publication: ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
Last Printed:  Sun., Dec. 22, 2002
Section: METRO, Page: C4, Edition: FIVE STAR LIFT

It's getting to be Christmastime around the Freeman household, and that can mean only one thing: food fight. Not food fight in the John Belushi, "Animal House" kind of way. No, I'm talking about what we're eating.

It's a very big deal for us. I imagine there are many folks who decide a week or so before Christmas what the meal will be. You've got to make plans so you can be sure to have all the ingredients you need to make the meal. Not so in our household. The minute Thanksgiving is over, we go to work on planning the Christmas dinner.

For instance, there's always the fruitcake question. I love fruitcake. I always have, dating back to when I was a little boy and my family had it every year. My wife, on the other hand, can't stand the stuff. She thinks fruitcakes are made to be doorstops, bookends, bricks - anything but something that anyone would want to eat.
     In recent years, I've been ordering fruitcakes made by monks. They're really quite good and they preserve well. Unfortunately, this year I forgot to order the fruitcake, so my wife is gloating, thrilled that there will be no fruitcake to kick around this Christmas.

On the other hand, we will be having the traditional Freeman family eggnog. This eggnog recipe was created by my grandfather. My father made it, I've made it, and now our son, Will, makes it. Unfortunately, there are a couple of problems with the recipe.
     First, it calls for a tiny bit of Scotch, to help kick in the flavor. Every year, when we make the eggnog, my mother never thinks there's enough Scotch in it. She's not a big drinker, but she says there's not enough to wake up the flavor. I, on the other hand, think that more Scotch would not only wake up the flavor but the neighbors next door as well. So that's one of our battles.
     Second, my wife doesn't like eggnog. I seem to recall her pretending to like it when we were dating, but she says that my memory's fuzzy, so who knows? Her memory is always better than mine, so I guess I'll have to go along.

Then come the meats. Turkey is standard - or at least with most of us. For me, turkey is a must on Christmas and Thanksgiving. Other meats can come or go, but you've got to have a turkey, as far as I'm concerned.
    My wife stirred things up a few years ago when she suggested that instead of turkey, we have a nice lasagna for Christmas. Will and I were shocked. Lasagna? On Christmas? That was downright blasphemy. She quickly took that suggestion off the table, and we calmed down.
    In recent years, we've been getting HoneyBaked hams for the holidays. These hams are so sweet and smoky, they don't compare to other hams, in our opinion. So no one will fight over that.

But then comes another item that always causes a little controversy: chitterlings.
    Some folks can't stand them. Not me. I love them, dotted with Louisiana hot sauce.
    They're the best. But my wife doesn't care for them. Never has, she says, although I remember once when we were dating when she ate them and talked about how good they were. I now know she was just being polite. So not only won't she eat them, she won't cook them. Fortunately, my mother will make those and bring them to dinner. Will enjoys them too, so they'll be eaten.

Finally comes the dessert and the annual battle of the pies. The question? Pumpkin or sweet potato? It should be easy to decide. One or the other. Maybe in another household, but not ours. I like both sweet potato pies and pumpkin pies. So does Will. However, my mother likes sweet potato pies and doesn't like pumpkin. My wife loves pumpkin pies and doesn't care for sweet potato. While it's not quite Oscar Madison-Felix Ungar time ("Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other crazy?"), it often means working something out. We've tried things like having apple pie instead, but that doesn't seem to please anyone. So come Christmas, we'll have both pumpkin and sweet potato pie.

Despite all the wrangling, the fighting and the battling, family and friends will still gather around at Christmas and enjoy dinner. The only fighting then will be over who gets to do the dishes.

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