Headline: LISTENING
IS THE KEY FOR BLACKS, WHITES TO BUILD BRIDGES
Byline: By Greg Freeman
Publication: ST.
LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
Date: Thur., June 13, 2002
Section: METRO, Page: B1, Edition: FIVE STAR LIFT
"If St. Louis really wants to do something about its race problem, black
people have got to learn to stop using race every time something doesn't go
their way."
"White people are responsible for the race problems that St.
Louis has. They're the only ones who can do anything about it."
These are two letters that I got last week from readers, one white,
the other black. Their letters, as much as anything, point out the racial
division that we face in the St. Louis area.
Many
of us talk a great deal but don't spend much time listening. We quickly
go on the offensive without stopping, thinking and asking ourselves whether
the other person may have a point.
Unfortunately,
many people feel that the area's racial divisions aren't their problem. The
problem lies with "the other." I'm doing all the right things;
why can't the other do them too? Many of us take so much time demonizing
the other that we don't have time to look at ourselves. Is there something
we could do differently? Are we sending messages that we don't intend?
Are we effectively getting our point across?
It's sometimes
difficult to see that we may be contributing to the problem, instead of providing
the solution. None of us is helped by racial demagogues -- either black
or white -- who exploit these divisions for their own purposes.
In
fact, some of us are so engulfed in hatred toward people of another race that
it may be impossible to ever get through with a different message. Not
a week goes by, for instance, that I don't receive an envelope from a reader,
one who I presume is white. The correspondent tears any negative newspaper
story he can find about black people, writes on it words like, "Why
don't you do something about your people? No wonder we don't accept you,"
then stuffs it in an envelope with no return address and mails it to me.
This person may be beyond any efforts to increase understanding among different
races.
But I suspect
that most St. Louisans aren't.
In
fact, out of this column nine years ago grew a program called Bridges Across
Racial Polarization. Bridges was formed after I had written several pieces
about the area's racial tension. A reader, Dan Schesch, invited me to
lunch.
We
lamented how blacks and whites here often talked at one another, but rarely
with one another. Finally, we came up with an idea: What if we could
come up with a way for people of different races to get together on an informal
basis, talk about race and ultimately develop friendships across racial lines?
We set it up so that we would have groups of about 12 people of different
races. The groups would meet in each other's homes over pot-luck dinners.
The
groups started slowly at first, as people were initially reticent about discussing
their feelings. But as time went on, and participants became more relaxed,
we found them more willing to express themselves. Happily, friendships
grew from these sessions.
Today,
Bridges is considered a success. Last month, for instance, after taking
nearly three years to study Bridges, the Pew Charitable Trust chose it as one
of only 19 programs across the country deserving of its "Wanted: Solutions
for America" designation. And three years ago, the President's Initiative
on Race named Bridges one of the nation's "promising practices."
Today,
about 400 St. Louisans are participating in Bridges groups. That may not
be a lot of people, but it's a start. And, happily, ours isn't the only
group that's working on this issue. There are other groups and organizations
as well that have recognized the problem and are trying to address it. Some
are working in schools, others with businesses, some are in Missouri, others
are in the Metro East area.
It will take more of these efforts -- opportunities for people to sit down and listen to what others have to say without getting defensive -- to help us get off the dime on this issue of race.
For more information on the Bridges program, call 314-622-1250 or go to www.focus-stl.org/prog/bar.cfm
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