Gregory Freeman: How About Goodwill Toward Tardy? P-D 12/24/1996

Headline: HOW ABOUT GOODWILL TOWARD TARDY?
Reporter: By Gregory Freeman

Publication: ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
Last Printed: Tue., Dec. 24, 1996
Section: WAR PAGE, Page: 9B, Edition: FIVE STAR LIFT

YOU FOLKS have some nerve.
   I just bought our Christmas tree, and you didn't leave me with much of a choice. OK, it's Christmas Eve. But that doesn't mean that someone else might not still be looking for a tree.
   My 15-year-old, his friend and I just set out for our annual excursion to buy a tree. It was all planned. We were going to drive to the place where we usually get our trees. I was going to let Will search among them all and pick out his favorite. We were going to tie it to the car and head home, while Mariah Carey serenaded us with tunes from her Christmas cassette. We'd get it all done within an hour.
   But when we pulled up to the lot, we were in for a shock. No trees. They'd all been sold.
   How could that be? I wondered. I always get my tree around this time of year. I figure there's no sense in buying it earlier, since it's usually well into January - OK, once it was early February - when I take the tree down to be recycled. So what kind of selfish, thoughtless people would buy all the trees and leave me treeless? What happened to the spirit of Christmas?

As I stewed over how inconsiderate some people are, Will suggested another place that always has lots of trees. We jumped back in the car and headed for the lot.
   This place always has tons of trees each year. Even though it's in the city, this place usually looks like a forest in December, with its dense thicket of Christmas trees.
   As it turned out, the forest had thinned out quite a bit. By the time we arrived, four trees were left.
   Concluding that St. Louisans this year clearly had chosen not to think of their fellow man - namely me - by leaving lots of trees for the tardy among us, I decided to check out the remaining trees.
   The boys and I looked at one which didn't look too bad, except that it was practically bare in the back. Another was short and dumpy. The other two looked like Charlie Brown trees, thin and scrawny. We decided we could live with the first tree, since we planned to put it in a corner. No one will see the back, we reasoned.
   We turned to look at the first tree again, only to find a couple admiring it. The minute I heard the woman say to her husband, "Let's look over there, " I clasped the tree tightly in my hands. "We'll take it, " I proclaimed, victoriously.

That would have been fine if that had been all. But the tree issue isn't the only place you folks have been inconsiderate.
   I started my Christmas shopping over the weekend, only to find that a lot of the good stuff was gone already. And Christmas isn't even until tomorrow.
   I had my heart set on a present for one of my young nieces. The Tickle Me Elmo toy sounded perfect for her.
   Did anyone bother to say, `Wait, let's be sure to save one of these for Greg'? Ohhhh, noooo. Every store in town tells me they're sold out already. Come on, folks, have a heart.

All right, I admit to procrastinating when it comes to what needs to be done this season. I seem to be so busy during the year and then I look up one day and it's Christmas. It always throws me off balance.
When I do realize it's Christmastime, I - the world's worst shopper - drag myself through seemingly every mall in the Midwest, shopping for gifts. I roam the stores like some sort of maniac, wondering what to buy. Yes, I suppose it would be helpful if I had some idea before I went to the store. But I don't. So I roam, head moving up and down, left to right, wandering, searching, at times downright zombielike.
Would my mother like that hat over there? Nah, she doesn't usually wear hats. Those reproductions of old Negro League baseball cards for my brother-in-law's collection? No, he's got every baseball card known to man. A set of pots and pans for my wife? Not unless I plan to sleep somewhere other than home on Christmas night.

The one small consolation I get as I ramble through the malls at this time of the year is that I'm not alone. It seems I have lots of company, lots of other men doing the same thing, looking for that perfect gift but having absolutely no idea what that gift might be. Like me, these guys are clueless but determined. Confident, yet hanging on to their receipts, just in case. I'll expect to see a good many of them when I hit the stores again tonight. Like them, I still have malls to go before I sleep.

Now if I can just get that tree decorated . . .

Daniel Schesch - Webweaver

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