Gregory Freeman: Computer Proficiency Isn't Something You Can Fake Forever. P-D 5/26/1998

Headline: COMPUTER PROFICIENCY ISN'T SOMETHING YOU CAN FAKE FOREVER
Reporter: By Gregory Freeman

Publication: ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
Last Printed: Tue., May 26, 1998
Section: METRO, Page: B1, Edition: FIVE STAR LIFT

1-800-HELP
I wish I knew more about computers.
I know enough about them to use them. I can write a column on one. I can use the Internet with one. I know how to look up information on one. But when it comes to buying one, installing one, buying the equipment and accessories, well, I'm not the world's brightest person.

Oh, I like to pretend that I'm knowledgeable about them. I do this best when I'm dealing with people who don't have computers.
   When an older cousin in California let me know that she'd gotten a computer a couple of months ago, I promptly sent her e-mail to tell her the good things and bad things about computers, the things she should look out for and how she could use her computer for many different things.
   I did my little superior dance. Never had a computer before? Stand back and let me show you the way.
   When my sister told me recently that she was thinking about buying a computer, I was quick to tell her which programs her new computer should have.
   "Oh, there are so many!" she said. "I'm sure I'll forget them. Will you write them down for me?"
   "Gladly, " I replied, full of confidence. Have no fear, Computerman is here.

But this confidence quickly evaporates when I go to a computer store or want to do anything with my own system.
A recent visit to a computer store to buy a new printer was a prime example of that.
Actually, I first thought about getting my old printer fixed. But when I got there and found that it would cost $99 for anyone in the store to even look at it, I figured buying a new one would be just as good.

I headed over to the printer section and saw one I liked. The sheet of paper describing it said which systems it works with.
   But the sheet just served to confuse me. My computer system uses Windows. Just Windows. Not Windows 95, not Windows 98, not Windows NT4 or anything else. Just Windows.
   When I bought my computer, there was only Windows.
   Unfortunately, the sheet mentioned every kind of Windows imaginable, from Windows 95 to Windows XXX, but no Windows.

I called over a salesman. Will this work with my system?
   "What kind of system do you have?" he asked.
   "Windows, " I said.
   "Windows what? Windows 95?"
   "No, just Windows."
   "Just Windows what?"
   "No numbers after it, just Windows."
   "You must mean Windows 3.1."
Sounds good to me, I thought.

The printer worked with my system, so I bought it, took it home and panicked.
   That's because when I opened the box and pull out the "easy setup guide, " I was told that the system's manual was on a CD-ROM that was included.
   Why couldn't it just be printed on paper, I wanted to know.
   I have a CD-ROM with my computer, but my son is the only one who's used it for anything but music. I've concluded that children know everything about computers and their parents rarely know much. The smarter the kids get about these things, the dumber the parents get. I think it's something in the water.
   But Will wasn't around, and I wanted to get the printer set up.
   So I was faced with a new dilemma: How do I get the information I need off the CD?
   I put the CD in and pushed lots of buttons, to no avail.

Finally, I found a support number for the printer company and called it.
   After going through an intricate voice mail system ("If you're calling about printer version 6e, press 1; if you're calling about printer version 7df, press 2 . . ."), I finally got a live person.
   "Are you having problems with your printer?" she asked.
   "Well, sort of, " I said sheepishly. "I don't know how to get the in formation off of my CD."
   "Excuse me?" she asked.
   "Well, " I explained, "I bought this printer today and my son's not here, and now it's saying that if I want to install my printer I have to get information off of the CD, and I don't know what I'm doing."
   The woman on the other end of the line sounded surprised. I'm sure she wondered what kind of dolt she was dealing with.
   Nonetheless, she was patient and walked me through it, step by step.

And now I have a printer that works, making me a full-fledged computer geek.
Even if I'm still not sure what kind of Windows I have.

Daniel Schesch - Webweaver

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