Greg Freeman: Brothas, Let's Unite -- Against Violence, Irresponsible Sex. P-D 2/19/2002

Headline: BROTHAS, LET'S UNITE -- AGAINST VIOLENCE, IRRESPONSIBLE SEX
Reporter: By Greg Freeman

Publication: ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
Last Printed: Tues. Feb. 19, 2002
Section: METRO, Page: B1, Edition: FIVE STAR LIFT

Today's column is written for the African-American men. You don't have to turn away if you're not a black man, but brothas, this one's for you.

I don't know if you've checked lately, but we -- black men -- have an image problem. Lots of people are afraid of us. Even Jesse Jackson has said that he would be worried if he were on the street at night and was approached by a young black man. Folks avoid us; "profiling" police officers target us.
     Of course, it's only a minority of us who are involved in activities that are causing this fear. Most of us are honest folk, people who are going about our lives, doing our jobs, taking care of our families. Robbing someone is the furthest thing from our minds. We wouldn't think of shooting somebody simply because we had a disagreement.
     But the rest of you are causing problems for all of us. The fear of us, while pretty irrational, isn't baseless. Take a look at the crimes in the St. Louis area. An overwhelming majority of those are black-on-black crimes. In fact, though some whites are afraid they'll be harmed by black males, statistics say otherwise: The most likely victim of a murder is a black man, killed by another black man. Regardless of how racist this world might be, no white person has made a black man shoot and kill another black man.
     Brothas, we've got to learn how to settle our disputes in ways other than blowing folks away. Those of you who are doing that stuff have no idea how much better our lives would be if we could get away from this whole violence thing.
     Your behavior is unacceptable. And it's time for the rest of us to stop tolerating it.

And while we're talking about not tolerating things, there's something else we've got to stop tolerating: impregnating young women out of wedlock.
     An increasing number of young black men are having two, three, even four children out of wedlock by different mothers. Nearly three out of four black babies are born out of wedlock to mothers who are young and poor.
     Some of you mistakenly think that this is an issue of manhood. You're wrong. The ability to be responsible for yourself and for others is what sets a man apart from other species.
     If you're not ready to settle down and help raise a baby in a healthy and stable household, you're not ready to be a father. Instead, you're causing more problems, including problems for the child you've created. That's because kids of single mothers are more likely to live in poverty than those who live with both of their parents. And black youngsters are five times more likely to live in poverty.
     Yes, I know that young women have a responsibility in this area, too, but today's column isn't for them. It's for us.
     If you're not ready to be a father -- a real father who takes care of his kids and has the ability to support them -- then the responsible thing to do is to either abstain or to use protection.

As black men, we've got to rise above the statistics. We've got to be strong and determined to defeat the racism in our lives, and part of that includes living productive lives and making sure that our children are born into a family ready to give them every opportunity possible.
     You and I know that black men aren't nearly as terrible as we're sometimes made out to be. But there are steps that we can take -- that we have to take -- to erase that stereotype. Among them is teaching our own children the difference between right and wrong. We've got to teach them skills so that they learn how to deal with disputes without resorting to violence. And we've got to teach them about responsibility and about the problems that having a baby out of wedlock can cause.
     That's going to go a long way in repairing our image problem, brothas. And it's going to improve the quality of life for African-Americans across the country.
     It's high time we got started on dealing with this.

Daniel Schesch - Webweaver

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